I’ve been invited to attend attended an informal company gathering at the CEO’s house this weekend.
I am not particularly keen on going, but turning it down seems like career suicide, so I accepted the invitation.
There is something downright sinister about spending a Saturday evening with your work mates. It is not that I have an aversion to socializing with them, but it is kinda like sleeping with the enemy, if you get my drift. Call me peculiar, but I prefer to spend my weekends with people I actually like.
This brings back memories of a soirée I attended three years ago. It was essentially a fully catered up-market BBQ, at the then boss’s house. His entire family was present… wife, son and daughter. They were originally from England and I had expected it to be a dreary affair.
After dinner was served, we all gathered in the lavishly groomed spring garden. Despite my initial misgivings, the event had turned out to be quite pleasant. That’s the beauty of having low expectations… things can only get better.
The boss’s son was engaged to a South African girl. She was an absolute stunner… vibrant and outgoing. I remember she had on designer jeans and strapless red top… the reason for which will become apparent later. The son was the complete opposite… reserved and somewhat somber. I guess an English public school education can do that to you. They could not be more mismatched as a couple.
The poor girl must have had too much to drink over dinner or perhaps she ate too little, because by the end of it, she was positively drunk. I do not understand why the family did not take her inside to lie down and sober up. Instead, the son followed her around like a puppy and kept an eye on her. I could see from the frequent glances exchanged with the son that the boss and his wife were very worried that something untoward might happen.
At around ten the dj started playing dance music. We gathered on the wooden patio next to the pool which doubled as the bar/dance area. The son and gf was there as well and she was having a really good time.
It so happened that my colleague, Alex, ended up talking to the son and the tipsy gf. At some point the girl asked him to dance with her. He seemed unsure about accepting, but the son nodded his approval and gently nudged them in the direction of the dance floor. Perhaps he thought dancing would sober her up.
The girl was a little unsteady on her feet. In order to steady her, Alex allowed her to put both her arms around his neck. Thankfully it was a slow dance. They mostly danced in place, moving around in small circles. She was practically hanging onto him. I was silently giggling to myself. Alex kept looking over her shoulder and smiling at the son, as if apologizing on her behalf. Poor guy.
When the song ended, he loosened her arms from around his neck, stepped away and walked her back to the bar area.
I have no idea what happened next or how it happened, but things suddenly went quiet and everyone looked in their direction with shocked expressions on their faces. This was promptly followed by a salvo of stunned oohs and aahs. The red strapless top she had on had slipped down, exposing her breasts for all to see. Hello Miss Jackson!
My first instinct was to applaud Alex’s brilliance, but I realised soon enough that it would make me look like a pervert. (Can you blame me for getting carried away… the party had just come alive!). So instead I pretended to be horrified… as best I could.
Alex on the other hand, looked as if his whole world had come to an abrupt halt. He was a white as the proverbial driven snow.
Now any guy would relish the thought that a woman’s clothes could literally “fall” off her body merely by being close to him, but not like this… not in public!
Just then Alex did the worst thing he could possibly do. He tried to slide her top back up over her breasts. It looked as if he was trying to fondle her. You could not buy this kind of comedy with all the Master Cards in the universe! Keeping a straight was utterly painful.
A few women rushed to her aid and managed to cover her up. As they ushered her inside, all Alex could muster was an audible, “I had nothing to do with her top coming off. It was an accident.” I practically chocked on the canapé I had in my mouth.
I half expected Alex to run off into the night and cry “leave me alone” like a girl. That truly would have been the cherry on the cake.
An hour after the incident, the party was back in full swing, the incident seemingly forgotten. Of course the guys had a good go at him first. Yeah… jealousy can do that, especially when you have a severe case of I-did-not-get-to-fondle-the-boob envy.
The following Monday at work was a friggin riot. The news of the (un)fortunate incident had spread throughout the company like wild fire. Alex was the butt of every joke boob joke ever told.
I can only pray that the coming Saturday night’s soirée will be half as exciting as the previous one I attended.
(Over)exposed
October 3, 2006 by chitty
Oh my word.
You are the master of disaster.
Ever notice that these things seem to happen when you’re around more than when you’re not?
Or so it seems!
Another exciting episode of Chitty’s sitcom life. The main question is: did Alex get the sack from his boss for some inconsequential act 3 months later? Did the son go on and marry the flasher chick? And who shot JR?
And I thought trouble followed me around. You’re a disaster magnet my man!
Looks like it’s going to be a worldwide prayer meeting.
Glad I stopped by. It was exactly the comic relief I needed after a stressful day! I do, however, feel for Alex – poor tit! lol
IITQ: It does seem that way doesn’t it? In this instance I am glad it was someone else and not me.
Andrea: Ha ha. Alex is still alive and well and the events of that night make for very good bar room banter.
I sure hope the sitcom that is my life comes to an end soon.
Del: I don’t mind disaster following me around as long as it is interspersed with good times as well. And it is.
So, when do get to hear your tales of disaster?
KN : Who will lead us in this worldwide prayer meeting? My vote is for the high priest of cayennetology. (did I spell that correctly?)
Realist: Glad to be of service. I agree… Alex made a right tit of himself, albeit withsomeone else’s tit. Lol.
Remember what you said about not having expectations, don’t have any for this bash coming up. You never know what might… ahem, pop up or out.
I can’t help wondering how the young lady (?) in question felt the next day. Imagine the lad’s mother… “I’m sorry dear, but she has to go. I will not have That Sort of Girl being the mother of my grandchildren!” Sheesh, with a future mother-in-law like that, no wonder she took to the drink.
Um… ok ja maybe my imagination went off on a little tangent there.
Hi chitty is there a reason why you did not notify me of your change heard from Buddess. (sad) I am sure it was one of those kodak moments. Hope you had a nice weekend.
Now this is what I call entertainment!!! I am sure Alex felt bad, but at least he felt more than anyone else….. heeheehee – Good thing it didn’t happen to you otherwize we will be calling you Titster and not Chitster any more!!!! I can’t wait to hear what happened over the weekend.
Katt: I am just happened it happened to someone other than me.
I have learnt a long time ago that if you expect to much, you will inevitably end up disappointed. A cynical view I know, but more often true.
Terri: They CEO and the family got transferred to Canada a year later. I don’t know if the son and the gf are still together. I hope he hung on to her. He could do a helluva lot worse than her, let me tell you… the incident notwithstanding.
These things can happen to anyone of us. I once got drunk on a single beer.
Celeste: I notified you… I promise you I did. I sent and e-mail to goggasgirl on 19 Sept. Perhaps it got classified as spam… please will you check and let me know?
Glad you found me and thanks to Buddess for letting to you know.
Buddess: You found my new hang-out! Thanks for stopping by. I will blog about the weekend’s party sometime later. Not as eventful as last time, but I do have a few things to share.
Most of my disaster happen at work. Maybe I should blog about them sometime…
speaking of Kodak – next time take a camera/phonecam or something similar along – that would have made a perfect picture.
PS: belated congrats on moving over to wordpress