I was entering a department store the other day when I was accosted by one of those girls who promote new perfume launches with sample testers. You know the type… young university student, bright-eyed, beautiful, and perfectly groomed… invariably wearing a distractingly tight sweater. Her perfect smile alone would make a tsunami seem like soft summer rain.
Normally when I am approached, I pick up the pace and put as much distance as possible can between myself and them. On the occasion that they do get hold of me, a blasé “No thanks, I’m allergic to new odours”, usually does the trick. Subtlety has never been one of my good traits.
These girls, much like the door-to-door salesmen of old, remind me of pack of hungry hyenas roaming the Serengeti. Ready the pick your bones clean with single-minded determination.
I recognise the value of an effective below-the-line advertising campaign/in-store promotion. Most shoppers will succumb to an impulse to buy when their olfactive, auditory or visual senses are triggered.
The ingenuity of her sales pitch needed a bit of work. It was about as appealing as sticking a pink wax crayon stuck up your nose.
On this occasion however, two things worked in the assailant’s favour. One, I had seen the advert for this particular fragrance on TV the night before, and was therefore curious, and two… I am guy and it is in my DNA to be enthralled by a beautiful woman… especially when she is a sexy young stranger.
She spritzed some fragrance on a cardboard smelling strip and gave it to me to smell. At least she had the presence of mind not to spray it on me directly. The last thing I wanted was to smell like a 19th century French bordello.
I know that the smell on the card and the smell on your skin are as different as a well cooked meal and a burnt offering. I was ready to employ this tidbit of knowledge as a reason to decline the offer to buy.
However, when I mentioned it to her, she sprayed the perfume on the inside of her wrist and held it up to me as if she had just created a masterpiece. My logical brain told me to decline politely and walk away. Testosterone told me to take her hand and smell her wrist. The second I brought it up to my nose and made eye contact, I lost my head.
15 minutes and a pricey R750.00 later, I walked out of there with a bottle of Eau de toilette small enough to fit into a contact lens cleaning kit.
My penis rulez………… my brain. Whoop-de fucking-do!! All I wanted to buy was a necktie!
Can you smell “gullible”?
October 24, 2006 by chitty
i cannot believe you fell for that. Oh well, hang on to the perfume until christmas and give it to your SO like you meant to do that.
wait… she doesn’t read this blog, does she?
s’not fair! there should be rules against doing that… no intentional tempting without fulfilling! (of course, as tempt is subjective, there need to be rules in place so that women can walk around freely, but i digress)
HA HA HA!
She’s a pro!
(have you read your email recently?)
I’d offer sympathy, but since it’s really a self-inflicted wound…
Reading this…. all i could think of was when cats are naughty you spray them with water-mist in their faces… imagine if you had to do that to people who ‘invaded your privacy’ – i guess maybe that’s why they invented pepper spray? A.N.Y.-way… thats a good fragrance to ad to your collection.
I’ve said it once before and I’ll say it again – GULLIBLE!
I confess, I have also been suckered into buying a bottle of perfume which really wasn’t me – flowers and all that stuff. But my purchase wasn’t governed by my hormones, I just really want to get rid of the chickie…. okay, I am gullible too.
mwahahahaha! Oh Chitty, you’re such a guy!
moonflake: Nope, she does not read the blog. If she did, I would have to be more careful about how I express myself here.
TW: Yep, I always say don’t start something you know you can’t finish.
In this case however, I think she got what she wanted. I was the one left wanting.
IITQ: I’ll check. I have actually closed some of my accounts down after what happened on Blogger.
KN: And it hurt too… both mentally and my pocket.
TP: Meow!! I think my fangs got pulled when she got me to smell her wrist.
Del: I hear ya. Now if only I can remember it for the next time.
Katt: Welcome to the club. Judging by KN’s last post, you are in good company.
I wanted to get closer to the chickie too… and it cost me dearly in the end.
Terri : Laugh all you like. 🙂 I have never been able to say no to a beautiful woman, easpecially when she makes it seem like I am the only guy in a 1km radius. Damn, I am a SUCKER!!
mwahahahahahahah – sounds like you were beaten by a pro
<b>M</b>: She was and she had the looks to go with it.