Ten things I learnt/observed (not necessarily first hand) in a sports bar while watching South Africa beat Whales over the weekend. In no particular order…
- 1. When your team plays rugby, do not invent a drinking game that is based on the number of points they score. 34 -12 is not necessarily a good score.
2. There is nothing romantic about drunk dialing at 1:30 on a Sunday morning, especially not when your mates are yelling “he tried to pick up a hooker” in the background. Don’t ever say the words “I just wanted to know how you are.” Trust me, don’t. Not at 1:30 am.
3. Cheap is just unforgivable. If you claim to have left your wallet at home when it is your turn to pay, then you are a cheapskate and you are stupid! I can handle stupid when I’m forced to. Cheap? No!!
4. Life is often like a staged play. Masks and make-up and shadow puppets, and then some. Never buy a drink for a guy who says he went to school with older brother, and when probed about it ten minutes later, can’t remember your brother’s name.
5. Factoid: A two at ten is a ten at two. When your mate says, “Hey, you want to meet a hot chick?”, do not try to convince him that she’s not. Let him wake up next to her the next morning and find out the hard truth for himself.
6. There is no such thing as public indecency at 2 am on a Sunday morning. The cops may disagree, but they have to be around to catch you in the act.
7. When a girl wears a green t-shirt that says “I’m a keeper”, it usually means that she is not, unless it refers to the fact that she can “keep” her liquor down better than you can.
8. When your team scores a try, do not throw your hands in the air and jump up out of your chair at the same time. There is no dignity in falling backwards and landing on your arse. Not even when you are drunk.
9. When a guy throws a shitfit about a decision the referee made, let him be. He is bigger than you are and will pound you into the ground with one swing of his giant fist. Nobody’s perfect. Accept it.
10. It is indeed possible for your hair to hurt when you are hung-over. (I learnt this the next day.)
Ain’t life grand?
i’m intrigued as to which lessons were learned from afar
Luckily I was too drunk by the time the game kicked-off (2am over here), to make any of the above mistakes. That and the fact that everyone else had passed out from the amount of alcohol consumed and only the Saffas made it to the game.
I met a girl with one of those “I’m a keeper” t-shirts. Turns out she was an ice-hockey goalie.
Chit, I think you were invloved in all ten instances. You an observer? I don’t think so.
For the record, there is no excuse for being a cheapskate.
I want to hang out with you!
I can’t remember the last time I behaved silly like this.
TW: Haha. 6 was learnt from afar.
Del: Nice to know that we weren’t the only ones misbehaving. By the sound of things you guys were worse off than we were.
KN: That is cold!
IB: I know my reputation is not the best, but come on bro, cut me some slack. Jeez!
Guido: Uh.. my diary is full. Hehehehe…
Great post, those same rules apply internationally too!
Hm, sounds like we were in the same pub..! I was quite glad I wasn’t in a pub for the barbarians game. Ouch!
You killed me with #10, hahaha!
Newbie visiting from little miss awkward. I’m not sure that I can bear to visit again though, as I’m still too stunned by your introduction.
You actually watched whilst the South Africans beat the WHALES – shame on you, those lovely creatures of the deep. That must be a banned sport if ever I heard one.
I will keep in mind the message on women wearing green t-shirts.
Cheers
Re number 10, I get sore skin when severely hungover.
Um, why can’t I see you? Is it my eyes? Are you invisible? Oh the confusion…
Here via Andrea. I think it’s your hair follicles that hurt in a hangover. Although I can’t be sure, having inherited a magical ability to never get a hangover no matter how much I drink (Yep, llife is grand.)
I am about to email a tech question to you.
Chitty, where are you? Blogland is dull without you.
Six months without an update now! Are you still there, Chitty?
bummer…I thought this blog was about cycling…
Chitty, where are you? You are sorely missed!!!!
CHITTY!!!
Are you ok? You seem to have disappeared.