It does not happen every day that you feel the need to (or even want to) use the punchline from a lame, politically incorrect joke in a real life situation.
Yet something happened this afternoon when I got into my car to see a client, that compelled me to do just that. It was not so much that I was compelled, but at the time I just could not think of something better/wittier to say.
I was pulling my car out of a parking bay at the office when I reversed into a car passing by behind me. Admittedly I was in a bit of a hurry, but I had checked for traffic/obstacles before I put the car into gear. A white Opel Corsa Lite seemed to appear out of nowhere. It really did!
My car lightly scraped the rear bumper of the other car. Apart from a bit of paint transfer it was not serious. Nothing that a bit of rubbing compound/car polish could not take care of.
No amount of apologising and goodwill on my part could persuade the driver not to involve our respective insurance companies. He insisted on taking down my details and on going though the proper channels.
I guess one can’t be too careful these days, but shouldn’t common sense prevail at the end of the day? I can only imagine what the excess payment is going to be like. Probably more than what it will cost to remove the offending paint smudge.
While I wrote my details on the back of a business card, he stomped around breathing heavily. The guy was pissed off alright. One would swear I had just totaled his car. Obviously he does not take life’s little challenges very well.
The odd thing about him was that he was severely vertically challenged. He was probably no more than 4ft tall. I could easily argue that he was so small that he could barely see over the dashboard of his car.
He: I’m not happy
Me (annoyed): No shit, dude. So which one of the remaining six are you exactly?
I don’t think he realised the full implications of the comment I made. If he had, he surely would have agreed that Grumpy would have been a more apt description.
[Disclaimer: The post is not intended to be in bad taste. Sometimes life is stranger than fiction]
A good thing he wasn’t too fast on the uptake or he might’ve head-butted you in the nuts.
Okay, having gone through something similar a while back, you have my sympathies.
Urgh, Chitty! Sometimes you just want to kill people.
my Friday the 13th wasnt the best either…. I have a big-ass scrape in the front of my car!!!
Definitively, life’s sometimes stranger than fiction! No doubt about it!
Chitty,
I may have to buy a new keyboard. I don’t think coffee goes well with keyboards (monitors wipe down fine though).
He obviously suffers from SMS (small man syndrome), did you check if his booster seat was installed correctly?
And revenge is a dish at its best when cold (it took 3 weeks before I got revenge on the white van that dented my car, that’ll teach him).
:KN: If he had head-butted me, I would have tossed him across the parking lot.
Katt: Killing them sounds to easy. i am thinking a year of torture in a Chinese prison.
Tripeak: Sounds painful. The strange ting is that the traffic department keep issuing licenses, even though people cannot drive. The only people smiling are the insurance companies.
Orquidea: Life = fiction and more so every day.
Kev: You fried your keyboard? Ouch!
I may just buy him a booster seat as a gift. It may come in handy.
If I were one of the seven dwarfs, I would be Sleepy. I kinda have that look of someone whose half-asleep.
You should’ve pretended you can’t hear him, and asked him to stop talking to your crotch. (Major negative karma for that remark!)
I’ve heard tossing dwarfs is a “sport” in some States. Not that I would know. I would never do anything that involves that much fun. Oops!
not long ago, a woman gently hit my car. it was her fault, we agreed on it.
interestingly, the whole time we talked, she didn’t even leave her car to look at the scratch! she was so FAT that she didn’t even bother get up from her big seat in a big American truck, so big and high that she didn’t even see my car down there near the ground, where cars should be!
you can only imagine all the mean comments that I was trying not to say to her… too lazy to take a look at what you’re paying for?!?!?!?
Lol. I love these kinds of little life incidents.
brilliant line…
IB: Stop talking to my crotch! Harsh! You are even worse than I am.
Guido: Of course you won’t.
What’s next? Throwing them off cliff and see if they land on their feet? We live in a strange world.
Euro: People in SUVs aren’t the best drivers to begin with. They have major difficulties with parking their cars, and getting to grip with the size of their vehicles. I saw a women the other day taking up two parking bays simply because she was unable to fit it into one bay.
You should have tossed her a burrito with extra cheese.
Tsotwan: Thanks for stopping by. It’s the little things that make life worth living, and not necessarily little people…. or so I’ve heard.
Aquila: It is. Pity I had to “steal” it from a joke I heard.