[Warning: links may contain spoilers]
If you are a MNET/DSTV subscriber, then Tuesday night has got to be the television equivalent of a DVD/movie marathon.
Just take a look at the line-up. Prime time kicks off with The Office, followed by Smallville, Prison Break, Nip/Tuck and lastly Weeds. And if you’re up to it, there’s also Trial and Retribution. Yep, if your significant other has become a Tuesday night television junkie, you can pretty much forego any chance of getting cuddly and cozy.
The only television programme I watch regularly is Prison Break. I use the word “watch” liberally since it is more like sitting vacantly in front, than actual watching.
This is because I’m an intellectual giant (You can stop with the laughter. Really. I mean it.) and my mind’s focussed on higher things, like global warming, the HIV pandemic, world hunger and finding alternative energy sources.
It is not because I spend the time pondering silly things like:
1. Will Michael Scofield eventually undergo cosmetic surgery get rid of all those tattoos or is he going to walk around with them for the rest of his life. The guy has more code on embedded on his body than all the pages of Dan Brown’s Da Vinci Code. He could be a no.1 bestseller all by himself.
2. With the FBI and the escaped prisoners converging on Utah, who’s going to bring down the President and unravel the conspiracy? Or will that be the plot for next season?
3. If I had a choice between the heroine-addicted doctor and the hot Romanian chick, I would go for the hot Czech chick, Nika. Every time. All the time. Oh and I’d also let the permanently angry prison warden suffocate on his own snot, because, well he is just annoying.
The big problem with not paying full attention is that you keep losing track of the plot and have to ask the person you’re watching it with what the hell is going on all the time. To which they will invariably answer, “Just watch the bloody thing, will you? What is wrong with you?!”
Jeez, you’d think you asked them to lay down their life for you! My, my, my… things can get a little testy when we run out of happy juice.
There is a perfectly good reason I don’t need to concentrate (ADD aside). It is because I already know what’s coming. I only watch to confirm my predictions and to appear sociable. I know how the season is going to end. I really do. It’s actually very simple. Michael and Lincoln are going to…
But let me not spoil it for the rest of you. I’ll let you enjoy it. Enjoy it as the story leaps from character to character, revel in the flashbacks and the whatnot. Hell, enjoy the ad breaks too.
Heaven knows, there is little else to do on a Tuesday night, now that television has all but destroyed the prospects of a healthy relationship.
Ha! Intellectual Giant.
I would sympathize, but I have a teenage daughter and things are even worse at my house. Thank God for Dual View.
Yep, I agree with IB – thank goodness for dual view otherwize Mr B would go insane. On the other hand, say thank you that they are all screened on the same night. Can you imagine how your relationship will suffer if all these very popular programmes where scattered throughout the week. Not that we don’t have this very same problem on other days of the week with Friday night being channel 36, Saturday is channel 55. I love the design shows. Then there is of couse still Dexter, CSI, Desperate Housewifes to name but a couple. Between all these shows I am sure that you will solve our energy crisis really soon. Not to mention the Aids pandemic!!! So, go on, get working on it and let the GF enjoy her shows. She will love you so much more for it.
Just by the way, how do you make a tongue-in-cheek smiley face???? LOL
I can’t identify here because we don’t have no goggle box. However, this has done nothing to strengthen my relationship. He surfs, I knit.
It might be time to get a tellie.
All hail the Intellectual Giant!
I don’t watch stuff like that because:
A) i look for holes in the plot constantly
B) get irritated be technical inaccuracies (me & CSI have reached an agreement – they pretend to do science & I pretend not to care that it isnt!)
C) I lose interest in series dead quick, like 2 episodes in, so the rest of it become a series of snapshots
D) Fundamentally they are all the same!
I’m no Intellectual Giant myself, I just can’t be bothered!
heh heh. :-}
IB: Rub it in. May the dual view pack up and may you be forced to watch MTY for hours on end… he heh.
I just want to sit back with a beer and a pack of Lays and watch the cricket.
Buddess:
I’m working on those global issues… during the ad breaks.
Katt: The telly will do little to improve your relationship. It sill however krep Flyboy occupied, giving you more time to surf.
Kev: So you’d be the guy who points and laugh then? Shame on you, Kev. No more telly for you.
I like CSI, the original, not the two spin-offs.
Like Kev, I lose interest in any series that is longer than 2 episodes which explains why something like Lost, a show that appealed to me, had no chance of capturing my attention for long.
Can an Intellectual Giant have a short attention span? Can a Thinking Blogger have a short attention span?
Alan: All perfectly normal when you are chitty. A short attention span in no way implies that I do not think. Just means that trivial things do not occupy my mind for long.
When something does grab my attention and I feel passionate about it, I am like an Afican boerboel, I don’t let go until I get to the bottom of it.
Intellectual giant.. you did not think I was going to refer to myself as a unintelligent doofus, did you?
i totally agree with you guys about the 2nd season of prison break, but your justification for not enjoying good entertainment in general is troubling. it’s like going to watch the most beautifully made movie (like narnia, for instance), where you KNOW the story so you don’t appreciate how absolutely stunning it is.
and if you’re familiar with MST3K, then you’ll know that even watching crap can be fun
Jeez, you’d think you asked them to lay down their life for you!
did you misplace your penis??? according to defending the caveman, you’ve switched roles! you need to open up that whiskey!
Chitty,
I agree the original CSI is the “best” (all things being relative and what not), and to be honest, no more telly wouldnt be a bad thing – its all cack/repeats anyway at the mo. :-/
Alan: I’d forgotten about Lost (see, i’m terrible). The 1st series had my record for following a series – about 8 shows, but then I got confused with which episode was on when – it was on 3 channels, shown in sequence progressing through the channels, then repeating, then previewing (which got me cuz I thought a preview was actually the same as a viewing?) and I missed one, and forgot to record another and …oh hell…. i’m all confuddled again…….