Singles Awareness Day

It’s a strange thing, but one rarely sees commentary on Valentines Day from anything but the most cynical perspective. I been to many blogs over the past few days and the only thing I have read so far is how crappy Valentines Day is.
Somehow the day of the year intended for single people to express love and affection for a secret love/crush has become the most scorned day of the year. Something has gone terribly wrong. Why do you suppose that is?
I myself am not a big fan of Valentines Day. No self-respecting man would be. The whole theme that goes along with Valentines Day is definitely cringe-worthy… pink/red/white decorations, hearts and flowers, fat little cheruby babies, love songs, bows and arrows, sappy greeting cards, chocolates, champagne and gifts. There is not a single thing about this day that is masculine or that hints that a guy would enjoy it. Guys only take Valentines Day seriously, because girls do. And girls take it far too seriously. How many guys do you know who like pink frilly bows? Once again men have been duped into playing along.
“We’re going to dinner at ‘The Overpriced Restaurant’ and then taking a long walk on the beach” An empty wallet, sand and a dead prawn in your shoe? Not the kind of things guys live for, don’t you agree?
The other thing I have noticed about Valentines Day is that people in relationships do not write about Valentines Day or how crappy it is. And when they do, they’ll say things like, “I hate how this holiday has become so shallow and commercial”, but they’ll play along anyway, because at some point on February 14th they’ll be naked, doing the bouncy-bouncy, and getting their freak on. It is hard to complain when the pay-off makes it all worthwhile. (Hooray for penis-power!)
This leads me to conclude that the one thing people hate most about Valentines Day is being alone. Nobody (and there are no exceptions in my book), wants to be alone on Valentines Day! This statement itself implies that there are other days of the year when people would prefer to be alone, which of course is not true.
The difference is… February 14th  is the one day of the year when you’re constantly made aware of how lonely you really are. “You are unloved and alone and do not have anyone special in your life”. Talk about a fucking downer! No one lets you forget it, least of all the media! It is the one day when single people are made to feel like utter losers.
It is when people buy into these feelings of bitterness and misery, and woolly-headed thinking that they feel lonely in the first place, so one could argue that it is self–inflicted to some degree.
Still, it is no less painful. February 14th has attached itself to the fascinating statistics of all time. More people get married (or propose marriage) AND commit suicide on this day than any other of the year. Einah! (Afrikaans for “ouch”) That is just sad.
So, in celebration of all my single friends: Happy Singles Awareness Day! I’d invite you over for drinks and chocolates, but that would make you the dead prawn in my shoe.