People Are Strange When You’re A Stranger” — Jim Morrison (The Doors)
On Sunday evening [S] and I went out to dinner with one of her co-workers and her husband. They had just moved to Johannesburg from another part of the country and were eager to make new friends. I was initially not keen on the idea, but she’s been pestering us (meaning [S]) about it for weeks. In an effort to get her off our backs, we finally gave in.
We settled on a nearby restaurant we had always wanted to go to, which was for me an unexpected bonus.
We arrived at the restaurant at 7 and settled down to a bottle of wine. We made small talk about this and that, which was good seeing as we hardly knew them. The husband seemed pleasant enough and I found that we actually shared a few common interests. Despite my initial misgivings, everything had turned out fine… or so I thought.
After about 20 minutes of talking, the waiter arrived to take our orders. [S] and I ordered what we would like to have for dinner when the co-worker lets rip with what I consider to be the mother of all embarrassments.
“I am really not that hungry”, she said, “We’re just going to order one thing and share it”
My ears went red! The waiter must have accidentally swallowed a large quantity of his own spit, because he started coughing loudly.
What the fuck did she mean by “they are going to share a meal”? Were we perhaps on Survivor South Africa or is there a food shortage in the country that I was not aware of?
I let my eyes glide the various items on the menu and what they cost (all of which seemed reasonable). Perhaps our companions felt they were a bit too steep and could not afford it? If that was the case, I would happily have paid for all of us. In fact, I would have been more than happy to feed my balls to pack of hungry wolves if that’s what it would take for them to let go of this silly notion.
[S] glanced at me nervously and whispered under her breath that perhaps we should do the same thing.
I shook my head at her and confirmed our order with the waiter. There was no way in hell I was going to let them blackmail me into doing the same.
Let’s be honest. Sharing a plate of food in a restaurant is only cute when you are a teenager. If they wanted to share a meal, let them go ahead and do it. I had my reputation, which isn’t much, to consider.
As a last resort and despite the incessant humming in my ears, I playfully tried to coax the woman into ordering the smallest meal item on the menu, but to no avail. She did not want to budge and I was beginning to feel like I had just followed Alice into Wonderland.
I was most disappointed in the guy for allowing his wife get away with this, but he seemed ok with her unconventional decision. How utterly fucking charming!
Needless to say, the conversation was a bit strained after this. This little incident has just fucked up the entire week that lay ahead of me. That’s definitely the last time I’ll be seen in public with them.
Good luck with making new friends.
It is cringe-worthy, but at least its between you, your girlfriend, them and the waiter and not the general public. Personally, I’d go into debt or take a doggie bag if it was about a lack of cash or lack of hunger, rather than share with someone (unless its desert because other rules apply there…).
But it could also have been culture shock for out of towners – apparently what Joburgers and Capetonians find average for the price of a meal is highway robbery to most of the rest of the country. Even so, you should be more insulted that they felt saving a buck was more important than creating a good first impression and pleasant evening with you and your girlfriend.
It could have been worse; they could have opted out of a meal altogether just sitting around for ‘drinks’ while you ate. Ew, or… they could have chosen to have a ‘few bites of yours’…hahaha {snort}! Sorry. You would have gone ballistic, wouldn’t you?
Triggermap: I actually thought about whether I should feel insulted and then came to the conclusion that I actaully do not care. An insult is only worth something when you care… other than that it is like pissing on a grain of sand in the middle of a desert.
I am filing this in the drawer for “weird occurances 2006″
Lucy: Lol. You make me laugh.
If they had tried to do what you suggest, I would quite happily spit on the food and offer them a bite.
i would argue that there are situations in which it is perfectly acceptable to share a meal. For example, if the meal has the words “Platter for 2″ in its description. And of course as previously mentioned, dessert.
I think the question to ask is, did they actually share it equally? Or was this just some sort of elaborate anorexic ploy to appear to be eating but actually not eat anything?
…I agree it´s alittle “teenager-thing”. I´m smiling because I imagine the “conversation” and the situation after. They should´nt have went to a restaurant if they were not going to eat. /C.
These people should never be allowed into another restaurant.
I not only cleaned my own plate, but polished of all his chips too…
Now I would never do that. First time Hubby and I went out to breakfast together
Next time take them to McDonald’s… they can share some chicken nuggets and re-enact “Lady and the Tramp” scenes with their french fries.
Oh, a big round of applause to you for not giving in to this pathetic little display! Well done, Chitty!