I am minion, Hear me roar… « Riding The Slipstream

I am minion, Hear me roar…

September 5, 2006 by chitty

I love it when my boss calls me to his office to have a strategic conversation about the projects I am working on. He is s one of those people who have the uncanny ability to do both sides of a conversation… by himself.
You know the type. He would ask you a question in the middle of a conversation, pause, and then go ahead and answer it himself. It’s like I’m not even there in the office with him.
When he does that, it takes me back to my childhood. Whenever I did something wrong, my Dad would always say (with that little vein throbbing on the side of his head), “Just who do you think you are?”, and then he’d go ahead and tell me exactly who he thought I was. Ha ha… those were the good old days!
I am not the only person he (the boss) does this to. I‘ve seen him do it in conversation with other people as well. It actually creates the impression that he has thought it through and that he had considered all the angles. Very effective… if not, not extremely annoying.
He’d say things like “Do you know why I think we should take the risk?” or “Here’s why I think you should go ahead and do this”, and then he’d go on and spew forth a plethora of reasons. Of course this means that I basically stand there and nod my head in agreement.
It is like white noise. I find it very soothing in a depreciating kind of way.
Naturally, there is a small part of me that wants to rock the boat and go ahead and answer the question before he gets a chance to air his point of view. For no particular reason, but to interrupt his rhythm and because I can. I am well aware that the posing of the question is merely an academic exercise and that he does not expect me to have an answer. In fact, he is banking on me not to.
But I am still going to do it. For the sake of my own sanity, and because I can’t wait to see the look of surprise on his face when he realises that I can actually think for myself and that I have an opinion. The majority of which, I loathe admitting, could be considered arbitrary. My strategy could actually backfire and I may bite off more than I can chew, but then it is all about taking the risk and asserting myself. You could say I have “a bee in my bonnet” when it comes to these things.
I’d hate to think that I am nothing more than a sounding board for him and his ideas. Come to think of it… he probably does.

Posted in Boss, Colleagues, Office, Sarcasm | 15 Comments

15 Responses

on September 5, 2006 at 1:03 pm It is the question

Whenever I did something wrong, my Dad would always say (with that little vein throbbing on the side of his head), “Just who do you think you are?”, and then he’d go ahead and tell me exactly who he thought I was.

HA HA! That does nothing to sway my image of you as a holy terror as a kid.
on September 5, 2006 at 1:51 pm moonflake

“It is like white noise. I find it very soothing in a depreciating kind of way.”

You didn’t watch House last night by any chance, did you? Because concidentally Hugh Laurie said almsot the exact same thing regarding people who take up both sides of the conversation
on September 5, 2006 at 7:01 pm totalwaste

that’s one thing i love about having to deal with that mentality in a foreign language. i just wait until the end, nodding the whole way through, and then say “i’m sorry, you’ll have to repeat that. i didn’t understand a word.”

it’s EXTREMELY effective at getting people to talk to me like a human being. it’s also quite frustrating for them, so they eventually learn to only talk to me when they actually need to know something
on September 6, 2006 at 11:45 am ChittyChittyBangBang!

IITQ: A holy terror? Me? H aha. I was perfectly well behaved… at least my by standards.
Moonflake: Yeah, I could not resist putting some of it in post. The sarcasm seemed very appropriate to what I am dealing with.
PS: I was very sorry to hear about the break-in you had on your return from the US. It’s enough to make you lose faith in the goodness of mankind.
TW: Effective. Has the advantage of bringing them down a notch and to a level with you can actually out forward your own ideas. I wonder if I can pretend not to speak English anymore?
on September 8, 2006 at 5:06 am Phoenixboi

I reckon next time he starts talking at you you stare at his crotch or something and see if he notices..
just some sort of shake em out of their shit shock value thing.
Hope all is well mate.
on September 15, 2006 at 7:36 am Alan

People who are too slow at ATMs need to be shot or re-educated. They’re even worse than the people who insist on having long, rambling conversations with checkout staff, long after the final bag has been packed.

Your scrotum tightens when you’re angry? I’m sure mine doesn’t!
on September 19, 2006 at 8:38 pm kyknoord

I’m not too fussed about being a cog in the great machine. I just hate it when I have to spin faster or slower than optimal.
on September 19, 2006 at 8:39 pm IB

Your post is apt for this time of the year. The annual performance reviews are coming up. That’s when the boss tells you how well/badly you did and how you can do better, all by himself.
on September 19, 2006 at 8:40 pm Tripeak

Seems like you’re looking for some ‘air time’ to intimidate yr boss… the way I see it (whether it counts or not) is that you have the upper hand in this situation. The key is to distract him once he asked his question to give you enough time to answer… try a barone or something else which could keep his yapper occupied.
on September 19, 2006 at 8:41 pm Andrea

I can see your plan being satisfying in all situations *except* with your boss. After all, you can never give a wrong answer, right?
on September 19, 2006 at 8:42 pm Terri

The Chitster not firing off a snappy comment at someone? Is this some new form of self-help you’re practising… “Learn to bite your tongue without hurting yourself” or something?
Ah wait it was the “How Not to P*ss Off Your Boss” book, wasn’t it.
on September 19, 2006 at 8:43 pm dr-02

Take your ipod & listen to some decent music while he is answering all the questions.
on September 19, 2006 at 8:45 pm chitty

KN: But don’t you love it when others spin faster or slower and not you? Spinning at the same speed all the time, even if it is optimal, can be somewhat uneventful.
IB: The key with performance appraisal is to not allow the other person to conduct it like an inquisition where you are constantly defending yourself. Insist on assessing your performance against each of your objectives first and then let them have their say.
TP: He does seem to like the sound of his own voice. Perhaps a Kit Kat would be more appropriate? (Have a break, Have a …)
Andrea: You may be on to something! I never thought about it that way.
The problem is when he is wrong and I go along with it.
Terri: LOL. Bosses aren’t necessarily blessed with a sense of humour. I’ve been trying to let him know without being cocky (which is very tough for me) and not kill my career prospects.
If all else fails I guess I could just try telling it to him straight up.
Doc: Ha ha… iPods are very effective weapons against colleagues. Listening to an iPod when the boss is talking to you, may well be career suicide.
on September 19, 2006 at 8:47 pm LiVeWiRe

Heh, The Chitster in a bonnet. heehee. Well, that’s where the bee is, right?! I do think you should assert yourself here albeit carefully. I mean, we wouldn’t want him feeling threatened that someone else could actually form thoughts on their own.
on September 19, 2006 at 8:48 pm Chitty

Dont make fun of my “bonnet, I have a bee-hive in there.
He knows I have thoughts… he just don’t want to listen to them.